these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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