Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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