I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i now understand why vodka
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
