Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Drake has all the answers
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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