Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
