I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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