dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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