my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I would fuck him just for his dog
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My bed smells like the plague
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
