ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
