DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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