I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
