after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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