Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
