:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
