..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
