Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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