I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
