He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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