Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
