No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Randomize
