So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
