I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
