Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
