Sry I called you an 8
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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