There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
