Will you blow on my dice?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
