Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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