Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
