So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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