Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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