How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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