you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
