I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
