you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
