You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
