there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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