This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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