you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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