so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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