he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
