I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
