someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
