The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
