okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
