you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
