I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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