Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
