my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
