you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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