even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
