Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
